Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
