I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
