nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize