we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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