Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
