I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
