ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
