I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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