I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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