we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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