I accidentally had phone sex last night
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize