drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She made me pour olive oil on her.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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