I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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