I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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