whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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