you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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