Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
