my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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