My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
