I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
