I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
