just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
