He kissed a someone with a penis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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