when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
