He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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