i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
