You just made me feel so damn special
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
