Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found puke in my bra..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
