I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
