Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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