Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
