I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
