Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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