Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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