remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
