Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize