This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
