How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can vaginas get frostbite?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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