You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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