Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
