i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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