your room smells of hookers.
And success
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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