Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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