I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
