the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I queefed so loud it echoed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize