Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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