I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
