Its about making memories worth repressing
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
