I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
