At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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