yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
