the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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