why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
