remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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