I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
