I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
