69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
