Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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