He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
