so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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