On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
