I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My cat gives me a boner
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
