oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
