okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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