wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize