yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
