Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
