I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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