Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
