Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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